I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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