I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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