Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
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Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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