ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize