just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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