it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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