Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize