the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
if only i could text you this smell
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize