am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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