Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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