I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize