Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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