I'm going to jail i love you
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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