come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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