Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize