He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I lost the right to judge tonight
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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