btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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