I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize