I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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