Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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