Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize