I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
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Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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