she looked like the before picture.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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