i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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