So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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