u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
These tits shall not be calmed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize