just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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