im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize