His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize