What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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