just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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