I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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