i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize