he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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