Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize