OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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