isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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