Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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