Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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