SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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