You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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