Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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