you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
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I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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