I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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