I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize