pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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