God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize