If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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