I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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