If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize